‘Twas down in Mississippi not so long ago…

Please note this post contains graphic language that may be upsetting to BIPOC or LGBT+ individuals

This week, the Waunakee Tribune published a letter from Mr. Phil Willems, a Waunakee Village Board Trustee. I don’t recall ever speaking with Mr. Willems directly, nor do I believe I’ve ever met him in person. Much of what I’ve heard of him is laudatory and positive. It sounds like Mr. Willems has long been a genial and nice person who cares for his community.

However, Mr. Willems is implying I am a liar. I’m sure his letter can be found online or in the print edition of the Tribune. I won’t link to it here.

I asked to be able to respond in a letter of my own and was denied (company policy re: timing of letters). In the end, this is a blessing. Being freed from the Tribune’s 400-word limit helps provide much needed backstory and context.

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Prior to the spring election in 2020, I publicly endorsed three candidates running in local elections: Brian Hoefer, Joel Lewis and Robert McPherson. I posted this endorsement on this website and it was linked on Facebook as well.

After my post, I got the following letter.

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Should anyone doubt this fact, this is obviously not the letter, but a picture of the letter itself. The exif data on this image should confirm that the picture was taken on April 6, 2020.

I immediately contacted both Robert and Joel (last April) about this letter, given that both were referenced within it. I informed both of them that I did not intend to release this, largely because I did not want to give whoever wrote this any attention. I think Robert was more irritated than Joel, but both agreed to respect my wishes to not publish this letter.

The election then took place. Joel and Robert both lost. I considered the issue done, at least until some in the Village came to disbelieve that incidents of bigotry (such as this one) actually have taken place.

Since that time, to my knowledge, only 4 or 5 individuals have seen this letter. Only two individuals, to my recollection, have ever asked me to see it: Todd Schmitt and Tim Kiefer (I vaguely remember Chris Zellner saying something about seeing it, but I don’t have anything in writing from him). I declined to share it for the same reason stated here. Plus, I didn’t want to create a public record through my position as an elected official. Further, if it had to be brought up anywhere, I expected this letter could be discussed at greater length in a more appropriate forum, such as before the school district’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion committee.

After Mr. Willems’ letter in the Tribune, and after asking for permission from Mr. McPherson and Mr. Lewis, I am posting it here so that anyone is able to read it. I am loathe to do this, because it goes directly against my previous reasons for not giving it more attention than it deserves: which is none.

I would not be releasing this had Mr. Willems not directly implied that I am lying about it. I derive zero benefit from this. I feel pain at having to re-live this. As should be obvious – I got this letter before the last election, discussed it publicly last summer, long before this current election season, and I previously read at least part of the text of this letter before the Village Board, after some doubt was expressed at its existence. I believe I even censored part of this letter in real-time while reading it, because in my view it wasn’t fair to even get the stink of this nonsense on the individuals indirectly referenced in the letter who were running against Robert and Joel (Erin Moran is presumably the “someone from a nice local family” and Joan Ensign is the “Endres”).

To be blunt: there is nothing illegal in this letter. There is nothing threatening in it. There is absolutely nothing illegal or unlawful about it. I didn’t contact law enforcement. As I said when I read the letter – there is no law against being an asshole.

If there was, I’d probably have spent more time in jail.

However, it is strikingly anti-semitic. It is hardly inclusive or welcoming.

Did I deserve it? I certaintly deserve whatever fire anyone wants to give me, and I’m not one to shy away from an argument. I’ve long said that I think argumentation is a useful path towards progress, as some issues merit uncivil discussion, lest the discussion devolve into something far worse, as was seen earlier this year in Washington D.C. So if someone wants to call me names, I’m fine with that. Neither Robert nor Joel deserved this. I feel a certain amount of guilt for even telling them about it. I could have laughed it off, thrown the letter away, and chalked it up to some moron telling me off. Instead, I shared it with them, and away we went. But as I’ve said before, remaining silent in the face of injustice is little different than engaging in it myself. This is what Dylan wrote about in “The Death of Emmett Till”:

If you can’t speak out against this kind of thing, a crime that’s so unjust,
Your eyes are filled with dead men’s dirt, your mind is filled with dust.

I think it is important to remember why Mr. Willems appears to have made his “closing argument” for re-election to the public about Robert, myself, and this letter: Other people, not only me – have continued to take offense to Mr. Willems’ suggestion that Robert needed to “make more friends” in response to this specific incident. Many individuals are concerned that others on the Village Board have compared themselves while wearing a mask in a community that wasn’t yet ordering them to “what it must feel like to be a black person” or that racism isn’t really an issue in our community, or that acknowledging Black History Month or LGBT Pride Month are not a priority for the community.

I cannot personally speak to whether or not racism is an issue in our community. I don’t personally experience racism in our community directly. But I have friends and colleagues who have. I know of one gentlemen who was harassed by local law enforcement in the last few years for “not appearing to be from around here” and was called “boy”. I know that some individuals have directly told school district administration that they moved to Waunakee because it was a white community. I know one young man who has told me of being called “N-word” more times than he could keep track of while living in Waunakee. Lastly, most of us likely remember the incident of four white children posting an instagram (or tiktok) post of themselves shouting “N****R! N****R! N****R!” outside their car windows online in 2020.

I don’t know Mr. Willems’ heart. I don’t want to think poorly of him, and in the light most charitable, I assume he simply doesn’t understand what it’s like to be treated as an “other”.

I cannot speak for Mr. McPherson. He has had to overcome much in his life, for which he has developed an actual sense of compassion for those less fortunate than him. That passion for helping others, sharing his expertise, and being unafraid to use his privilege for the good of others is why I am fortunate to call him my friend and why I’ve repeatedly supported him running for public office.

Irrelevant to this fact is the fact that he is Jewish. So for better or worse, Robert has experience knowing what it is like to be “the other”. My own experience with being othered is far different.

I have not often shared this, but I was severely bullied for a time during high school. I am not unique in this regard, as millions of children deal with this. However, it was a profoundly difficult experience for me. I quit activities that were important to me. In hindsight, I realize that I had become severely depressed. My junior year of high school remains hazy in my memory, but the most vivid memories come from the days where I ate lunch in a basement bathroom stall, alone, to avoid harassment.

I recall leaving the bathroom and seeing a sign being taped to my locker that read “BIG – Brandt is Gay”.

I can remember a teammate saying “Hey, what’s up faggot?” upon seeing me.

I remember my high school football coach (Coach Gruenewald) calling him into his office. I remember leaving a high school history class (without permission) to walk to the school office in tears to report this same interaction.

The kid who audibly called me a f****t was suspended.

The kids who put the signs on my locker were not.

They didn’t believe me that that someone actually did that. Not being believed that I experienced something painful was the hardest part.

So when I communicate that it is profoundly painful to have Mr. Willems imply I am a liar about this piece of bigoted drivel (that someone presumably in Waunakee did send) I am being sincere. Perhaps if Mr. Willems had talked to me about this experience, he need not have publicly attacked me. I did not make an issue of this letter prior to the 2020 election. I did not seek to make an issue of it now. I have already read the letter because it was already being implied that it did not exist. I am releasing it now so that anyone who cares can read it and see what still exists in our community, whether some of us acknowledge it or not.

This is simply my experience. I shudder to consider how it feels to have one’s experience with bigotry erased by those who do not care.