Into the light of a dark black night

For those who have been paying attention, three young men were charged in Dane County Circuit Court this week for disorderly conduct with hate crime enhancers. The three men, Cory Mellum, Bradley Behling, and Malik Yrios, were charged for the following incident, which was caught on camera, given the doorbell camera.

In Wisconsin, disorderly conduct with a hate crime enhancer is punishable by a maximum of one year in county jail, and a fine of up to $10,000.

According to local reports, the individual who answered the door was a five-year old child, who lives at the home with her parents (who are two women). The speaker, identified as Cory Mellum, said, as follows:

“Would you queers please get the fuck out of this neighborhood?”

Cory Mellum

It might be simple for us to write this off as a rare occurrence that did not happen in our community. After all, this happened in McFarland! Why are you upset about this here? This was precisely what a colleague said to me in Waunakee over the Christmas weekend. The direct quote (and I am reasonably certain he does not frequent the internet haunts that I frequent) was that “This kind of thing just doesn’t happen here. We’re more accepting in Waunakee.”

As much as I enjoy being disagreeable, I didn’t bother to disagree. It just wouldn’t have made a difference. It has never happened to me (here). I’m fairly sure it’s never happened to my colleague. We’re both cis-genered white men. The point, lest it be lost on anyone… is that bigotry generally doesn’t most often directly impact those who are in the majority.

Sad to say, it certainly does happen here. During my three years working for the community, I heard repeated stories of incidents of anti-LGBT bullying, mostly from children who reported there was little or no sanction for such conduct. As I’ve written previously, I was the recipient of some anti-LGBT bullying in high school myself (I’m not gay, but the people who tried bullying me were idiots, so that didn’t matter). As recently as September of this year, a colleague and friend of mine reported that vandals destroyed their families’ LGBT pride flag by cutting it in half… as it had been flying in Waunakee.

At the request of this individual, I will not share their name, but I can corroborate that these images were taken several months ago and sent to me at the time. They chose to simply move on, as it would be unlikely to catch anyone after the fact without video evidence. Since this incident, they did invest in a doorbell camera. The act of damaging someone’s property, for the assumed purpose of attacking it for its content as a pride flag, is actually a felony, and could have been punished more severely than the incident in McFarland.

In short – it does happen here. It just didn’t get caught on camera, turn into a viral video, and end up being viewed millions of times on Reddit, Tiktok, and Twitter.

What do we do about this? The school district has made it a focal point to ensure that inclusivity is important, that pride month is recognized every June, and that policies ensure that there is no discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender in general. Thank to the work of individuals like Joel Lewis, Tim Schell, the now-defunct district diversity committee, and district administrators, there is an anonymous reporting system being put into place to report incidents of bigotry and bullying in schools.

The school district, for two years, has flown pride flags at all district buildings. Following this, the district has flown the Juneteenth flag in February (in recognition of Black history month) and the Ho Chunk Nation flag in November (in recognition of the district existing on the Ho Chunk’s historical/ancestral lands).

It should be noted that the Pride flag resolution (passed June 2020) and Black History Month resolution (passed January 2021) both passed unanimously and with no opposition. Ted Frey and Jack Heinemann voted against the resolution to recognize the Ho Chunk Nation, which passed 5 vote to 2 votes in November 2021.

My friends in the LGBT community tell me that Waunakee remains viewed in the rest of Dane County as isolated and hostile. This isn’t intended to be a criticism of local leaders. I legitimately don’t know what leaders could do better or to be more inviting. However, it isn’t lost on me that representation matters. To my understanding, there never has been any person of color or openly non-heterosexual individual in any position of leadership, either elected or hired, in either Waunakee or Westport. That has to matter to those who never have someone like them in any position of authority. Because like it or not, our leaders (including me, when I was one) pretty much all look like this guy.

Our community has tremendous advantages: we have an affluent and educated population; we have ample space, wonderful businesses, and well-spoken leaders. There is no reason for Waunakee/Westport to be viewed as hostile to the LGBT community. However, the perception in the rest of the county remains fixed.

So what can we do to make change happen?